Thursday, November 18, 2004

Daisy will appreciate this post

I experienced a rather troubled sleep last night. I was repeatedly awoken by horrific strains of dog gas. Apparently the six kernels of popcorn I fed Rudolph the night before caught up with him. The miserable night of sleep I had rivalled that of the so-called "hell week" I experienced as a Tulane freshman. Hell week was the not-so-original invention of fraternities that required their lackey bitches, I mean pledges, to set off fire alarms at a different time every night in my dorm. Unfortunately for us, the only thing that Tulane ever updated in that decrepit building was - you guessed it - the fire alarms. They installed those ones that flash electric strobe lights and earsplitting buzzes that abruptly wake you up from a sound slumber, and then demand in a creepy robot's voice that you "REMAIN CALM!!!" By the fifth night I was sleeping through them. But nobody, I mean nobody, could sleep through the overwhelming dog-gas that shattered my pleasant slumber last night.

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