Sunday, October 31, 2004

Nation

Well, it really happened. Without me. The bums. Boston did not even burn to the ground. The whole thing was "profoundly anticlimactic" (in the words of one Boston sportswriter). It's the only story here, though. People are walking around dazed and euphoric. No one knows what to expect next season and everyone has tons of questions: Will we lose interest or identity? Where is the drama? How much joy can we wring out of pouring salt on the Yankees fans' wounds? Are we now the nation's baseball team? (We'll know the answer to that question when kids in New Orleans ghettos start sporting Red Sox gear instead of Yankees caps). Why were the Saint Louis fans so gracious, anyway? Did Schilling really endorse Bush for prez? What's going to happen to Pedro after this season? Are the owners going to start cutting back on the payroll now that we aren't battling the curse? Is Theo Epstein single? Lots of questions. The most important one has already been answered, however. Boston fans are really wondering if next year's season is going to be as interesting and tense as this one's. By a simple twist of fate, the Sox are scheduled to play their first game next season (when they unfurl the World Champions flag) against the Yankees. At Fenway Park. Can anyone wait?


Friday, October 22, 2004

Babies

Funniest thing my sister shouted at me from Landsdowne St. by phone after the Sox won game 7: A-ROD EATS BABIES! WOOOO!

Does anyone know that I have two interview this week? Does anyone care? Hell, do I? I'm going to Boston. I'm gonna be there when we win. Take that, whispering curse-worriers! When!


Thursday, October 21, 2004

I can sleep now...except that I have insomnia

I don't even know what to say. The sports writers have the silly and futile job of trying to catch the incredible joy and wonder that grips Red Sox fans right now. I certainly don't know how to express my absurd excitement. A chance to see them go to the World Series only comes around once in a generation. My turn! Let's hope this team has anything left to win with. The American League may never win another championship again if the Sox and Yankees keep playing each other.

I'm being a completely irresponsible adult and blowing off my job to go to Boston. Anyone coming?

Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Bring Out the Gimp!

There you go, evil Yankees: beaten by a bloody gimp! Hah! Of course, this series had to go 7 games so the Red Sox could properly break our hearts at the bitter end. Like always. But, wow, what a run.

In related news, I got a response on one of my resumes today! A real, interesting, worthwhile job! Not data entry!

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Dirty Partisan Politics in Florida

This story truly alarms and offends me:

Presidential Elections - AP

Report: Jeb Bush Ignored Felon List Advice
1 hour, 48 minutes ago
TALLAHASSEE, Fla. - Florida Gov. Jeb Bush ignored advice to throw out a flawed felon voter list before it went out to county election offices despite warnings from state officials, according to a published report Saturday.

In a May 4 e-mail obtained by the Sarasota Herald-Tribune, Florida Department of Law Enforcement computer expert Jeff Long told his boss that a Department of State computer expert had told him "that yesterday they recommended to the Gov that they 'pull the plug'" on the voter database.
The e-mail said state election officials "weren't comfortable with the felon matching program they've got," but added, "The Gov rejected their suggestion to pull the plug, so they're 'going live' with it this weekend."



This is the list that wrongfully excluded so many African American voters (heavily Democrat) in the 2000 election. The reason? Their last names or social security numbers were similar to convicted criminals. One of the legacies of slavery is that so many African Americans have the same last name. Because of what Republican election officials refer to as a "technical error," very few Hispanics (80% Republican in Florida and 20% of the population) who were supposed to be on the list made it.

This is really scary. This dirty tactic is even creepier than stopping the recount.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

The BFG

A comment just prompted me to write about my favorite book right now, Roald Dahl's The BFG. My husband and I just rediscovered this darkly whimsical children's classic and have been cracking up over it ever since. The silly language and the chapter about "whizzpoppers" and the Queen of England make our juvenile hearts excessively happy. As do the names of the bigger, unfriendly giants: Fleshlumpeater, Bonecruncher, Manhugger, Bloodbottler, Maidmasher, Gizzardguzzler, etc. Dahl delights in the macabre and his joyful, twisted names for the giants reflects it.

Anyone who has not read this delightful tale must run to the bookstore (or the children's section of the library) and buy it RIGHT NOW! Really, in this dark age of Yankee dominance and political malevolence, you need something clean, fun and brutal to clear your soul.



Pimping Martha Stewart: This post is not as provocative as it sounds. And has not been edited for brevity. Or content. Or style.

So I did something really educational last night: I watched a television news show. Now, I'm not saying educational in the sense of learning important or worthwhile facts about politics or life. Instead, this was more of a "seeing how the other half lives" kind of experience.

I'm here to report that it's not pretty. I watched Anderson Cooper 360, mostly because I think he's kind of cute, in a preppy, prematurely greying kind of way. And he seems like a pretty nice guy, which definitely gives him an edge over the Bill O'Reillys and Daryn Kagens of the world. Or not. Because aside from the niceness and cuteness, this show had very little going for it in terms of reality and originality. No wonder the Daily Show viewers do better than TV news watchers on current events quizzes.

The show featured and expert on low security prisons and offered important insight into Martha Stewart's first day in jail. After Cooper read from her online letter. Apparently Martha Stewart is bravely continuing her heroic journey of. . .self-promotion. Anyway, this expert turned out to be Heidi Fleiss, although it took me a few minutes to register that fact because I was trying to figure out why only parts of her face moved. Was she paralyzed? Maybe part of her face was melting? Made of wood? Ahh, but at last I figured out that the woman was in her final stages of Botox disease. I've really never seen anything like it. Martha Stewart, I hope you're watching. Instead of asking Nelson Mandela what you're going through in prison, they dragged out a wood-faced, scarier-than-Joan or Melissa Rivers ex-pimp. And with no hint of irony whatsoever.

360 also featured an excruciatingly long interview with the lawyer/gangster representing Bill O'Reilly's phone sex accuser. It revealed . . .absolutely nothing. And lasted about 15 minutes. And was followed by a brief but loud screaming match between two uninvolved lawyers discussing the merits of the case. About which they knew nothing. Mmm, fun and enlightening.

After discussing the Kerry/Mary Cheney incident for about half the show, and featuring numerous clips and pointless interviews , Cooper concluded his show by awarding Lynne Cheney the "overkill of the week" award. Really.

Thursday, October 14, 2004

Proof for John

Found on CareerBuilder, cited by Talking Points Memo blog:

DESCRIPTION
$8.50/hr part-time,$10.00/hr full-timeCanvassing Neighborhoods in Support of the GOP!Voter's Outreach of America is hiring door-to-door canvassers asking people to register to vote. Must be at least 18 yrs of age, no felonies, registered to vote and have own transportation. Need good communication skills and professional appearance. Hours are 4pm to 8pm Monday-Friday and 8am to noon Saturday. Call toll free 702-307-1320 for more information.Paid for by the Republican National Committee. http://www.gop.com/. Not authorized by any candidate or candidate's committee.Source - Reno Gazette Journal - Reno, NV

Wednesday, October 13, 2004

Disaster

Well, here I am patiently awaiting another Red Sox debacle. Actually, I don't really think that's true, but how often do you get to impress non-existent blog readers with a fancy word like "debacle"? Last night's game wasn't a fiasco, Red Sox style. Really, it was just a baseball game. There were no horrifying bloopers or evil portents of doom to come. Mike Mussina pitched a hell of a game, the Sox didn't make any embarrassing or fluky errors (well, maybe Manny's miss that allowed three runs in, but we expect that from him), and they stayed in the game even after being down a hellish 8-0. Jeff and I thought Bill Mueller was about to tie the game in the ninth, but his failure to do so wasn't because he made a miserable or preventable error. My point is, the Yankees won, clean and simple. Tonight, the Red Sox probably will. I'm not sweating. Not a bit.

In other news, the presidential campaigners are "debating" tonight. Since King Kaufman didn't print my e-mail about the playoff/scheduling conflict, I will re-create it here for you, both of my faithful blog readers. Even though one of you has already seen it. Enjoy.


Dear Mr. Kaufman,

Your boss asked the question, "Don't you think it's lame that baseball couldn't schedule the playoff games around the presidential debates?" The more appropriate question should be, "Isn't it lame that the campaigns couldn't schedule presidential debates around baseball playoff games?" The campaigns chose a Friday night during playoff season for the least structured of the three debates and the only one that comes close to living up to the name. Clearly they were not concerned about people having to choose between this debate and entertainment. If they were, they would have chosen to air all the debates in the middle of the week when people are home to watch. Every network knows that weekend nights are the kiss of death for programming because nine-to-fivers have other plans on weekends, such as leaving the house. If both campaigns truly wanted everyone to see the debates they would have scheduled them for weeknights. And allowed them the opporunity to actually be interesting and informative.

The fact that the campaigns scheduled the town hall debate on a Friday night when playoff games had long been scheduled suggests that they cared little about this kind of conflict, or worse, wished for it. And if the latter is true, they would have found some other difficult time to schedule them. Also, tightly scheduled baseball games in the postseason cannot just be moved around. The timing of games affects crucial factors such as how much rest pitchers get. If Johan Santana had had another day of rest, the Twins might very well have won game 4 and we might be looking at a very different ALCS.

However, in the interest of full disclosure I should mention that I'm a Red Sox fan.

Sincerely,

Lisa Dare

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Red Sox: junk food and living wills

Ahh, tonight is the game I have been waiting for all year. My heart is fluttering. This week is baseball season. I have everything I need to psychologically prepare for this series:

1. Junk food. This week I am officially on hiatus from vegetables, whole grain and yogurt. In their place I have appropriate game-viewing food: jalapeno poppers (don't make me look up the tilde for the "n" in jalapeno), Wings of Fire, corndogs and pepperoni pizza. For variety, I have bourbon-laced brownies and coffee ice cream. Expected weight gain: 5 pounds.
2. A case of beer. Self-explanatory. Expected weight gain: 9 pounds.
3. Radiant Hope and Optimism that will wither at the first ominous sign.
4. A living will in case my suicide attempt or heart attack at the end of the series leaves me comatose. (Good thing nobody reads this blog, or that comment would be in poor taste). Expected weight loss due to illness: 5 pounds.
5. A vocabulary stocked with the most vulgar epithets, swears and curses that I stockpile for use during Red Sox/Yankees games. Expected weight loss due to swearing: none (silly, who ever heard of losing weight because of swearing? I would like to have the patent on that diet!)
6. 86 years worth of superstition and dread. Expected weight loss due to excessive sweating: 8 pounds.

I'm ready. Bring it on, baseball gods.

(Net weight gain: 1 pound)

Sunday, October 10, 2004

One for the "I swear I'm not making this up" category

I heard a story on the radio today about a parasite that attaches itself to a snapper's tongue and eats it. Worse, the parasite turns itself around and becomes the fish's tongue. Ewww.

The truly weird part about this story is that I heard it on NPR's This American Life. Ira Glass was interviewing author Carl Zimmer about his new book Parasite Rex: Inside the Bizarre World of Nature's Most Dangerous Creatures. Actually, it sounds pretty interesting. What a weird forum for that type of book, however.

Hey, does this parasite/fish thing suggest to anyone a weird conservative/media analogy?

Near Miss

Yesterday the real Rudolph and I had an actual brush with death while driving to a dog's birthday party in Mississippi. Actually you could call it a "near Miss." (hee, hee, that one's for you, Jeff). There are two important questions people have been asking me about my little hydroplaning adventure:

a: What were you thinking, driving 70 miles per hour in the rain with bald tires on crappy Louisiana highways? (The obvious answer to that question is, "everyone else was doing it.")
And, more importantly, b: A DOG'S birthday party?

I am happy to report that I escaped unharmed. And without the religious conversion that might have accompanied the incredible luck I had in surviving, without a scratch, an out-of-control hydroplane that whipped my car around twice (I think) through two or three lanes of 70 MPH traffic, across the median, nearly into oncoming traffic from the other side of the highway, stopping in time to land perfectly on the left shoulder facing the right direction to go home. Not to mention the incredible luck of finding a perfect excuse to avoid going to a dog's birthday party.

Friday, October 08, 2004

Conspiracy

Okay, I thought the rumors about Bush's jacket "bulge" in the first debate were silly conspirary theory, or worse, a tool of distraction from actual issues (actually, that's still a distinct possibility). Until this article from the front page of the New York Times gave me pause:



First they ["White House and campaign officials"] said that pictures
showing the bulge might have been doctored. But then, when the bulge turned out
to be clearly visible in the television footage of the evening, they offered a
different explanation.
"There was nothing under his suit jacket," said Nicolle Devenish, the Bush campaign's communications director. "It was most likely a rumpling of that portion of his suit jacket, or a wrinkle in the fabric."
Umm, how weird is it that:
a. they tried to say the photo was doctored
b. the communication peopple had no plausible explanation whatsoever - the pictures clearly do not show a rumple, but something with a definite form underneath the jacket (see Salon.com for a clear picture)

Whatever, like the questionable authenticity Bush's National Guard papers, this could only prove what we already know to be true: that Bush's brain is full of mush and dead flies and someone else pulls the strings. It's funny, isn't it, that Laura's the one who acts and dresses like a Stepford wife (although not the sexier, updated version)? She outbrains and outclasses Bush and is capable of stringing together coherent sentences. I still hate her.

For the record, I don't think this story is going anywhere (although I am encouraged by the cautious Times picking it up at all).

For the record, also, I really thought the ALDS series was going to go five games. Even after the Sox were ahead five runs in the seventh. Yes, Jeffrey, you were right and I was wrong. Even though I was nearly right as the Red Sox proceeded to blow the five run lead and had to go into extra innings. Besides, there's no percentage in being an optimistic Sox fan. You know this. Consequently, there is no joy in being a fan. Only a feeling of being set up for even greater disappointment. Actually, that's kind of how I felt after Edwards mopped the floor with Cheney the other night.

There really is a lot to be said about the debate tonight, but what's the point? I got really excited a few times (enough to scare my dogs, although they should've been used to the shouting after the Red Sox game). I especially got excited when Bush yelled/whined at the moderator who had given him the go-ahead. I thought maybe it would be a turning point in the election. Alas, none of the networks cared to put that dramatic scene on a loop. And then they chose to spin what was clearly a knockout victory for Kerry as a draw or even a victory for Bush. Not that they were trying to appear fair or anything. And clearly no one pays attention to any of it anyway. I tend to think anyone responsible enough to sit home on a Friday night to watch a debate probably reads actual newspapers and already knows what's going on in the world and would never vote for Bush. I don't think the ridiculous timing was a coincidence.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

Long-legged monkeys

The Red Sox have only one more game to win out of three. And the next two of those games will be in Fenway Park. Think they can't mess it up now? I fully expect this series to go 5 games. After all, we have Arroyo pitching tonight and either the tanking D-Lowe or an also-suffering Tim Wakefield pitching game 4. Does anyone else find it ominous that no one will say which one yet? But, my prediction is that the wonderful Mr. Schilling will bail them out on Sunday. Amen.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Unity

I think the one place where Edwards could really have stolen the election was the final question about unity. This is the place he really could've shifted the focus of the election from minutiae to a broader, forward-looking focus, Bill Clinton style. Unfortunately, he blew it by almost immediately reverting back to health care questions.

Truncated transcript:

IFILL: Whichever one of you is elected in November -- you mentioned those three electoral votes in Wyoming and how critical they've turned out to be.But what they're a sign of also is that you're going to inherit a very deeply divided electorate, economically, politically, you name it.How will you set out, Mr. Vice President, in a way that you weren't able to in these past four years, to bridge that divide?

CHENEY: Well, I must say it's one of the disappointments of the last four years, is that we've not been able to do what the president did in Texas, for example, when he was able to reach across the aisle and bring Democrats along on major issues of the day...We used to be able to do more together on a bipartisan basis than seems possible these days. I'm not sure exactly why. I think, in part, it may be the change in the majority-minority status in the Senate has been difficult for both sides to adjust to.And the Senate, of course, has been very evenly divided, 50-50, then 51-49, then 49-51 the other way.We'll keep working at it.

EDWARDS: Thank you.The president said that he would unite this country, that he was a uniter, not a divider.Have you ever seen America more divided? Have you ever seen Washington more divided?The reality is it is not an accident. It's the direct result of the choices they've made and their efforts that have created division in America. We can do better than that in this country.Cheney admitted defeat on this one and basically tried to blame it on the lack of bipartisanship of the Democrats. Which is exactly where Edwards should have pounced on. The September 11 attacks caused a surge of national unity unprecedented in my lifetime. Really, it was a gift from the sky for Bush. And people loved the way it felt. And politicians were willing to transcend partisan politics (if only because they would look petty, and dare I say, "unpatriotic" if they didn't.) And instead of using that unity to bypass traditional politics and really create bold initiatives, the Bush administration squandered every bit of it and more to create an unjust, impractical, costly war. If ever there was a time for Edwards to paint the broad picture of this, that question was it. He could have won Americans' hearts by saying something to the effect of, "We can achieve that feeling again. But it will never happen when this administration is in office. Because the way these people play the game is dirty and divisive, and [cue their overused "America can do better" phrase]. He could have hammered this point home (clearly subtlety is lost on most voters). But instead of pursuing this issue (which was Edwards's own gift from the sky), he chose to go back to health care.

lisadare broccoli

I'm floating the idea of changing the name lisadare broccoli after a recipe Daisy named after me. It would be followed by the sooo-cute caption "broccoli for your brain...not necessarily tasty, but good for you."

If anyone read this blog, I would take a poll. As it is, I'm on my own.





Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Wrong side

And speaking of being on the wrong side of every issue, I'm starting a file. But I don't have anything to put in it yet because the New York Times' search mode is down. But I'll start with student loan loopholes and whistleblower legislation.

Meals on Wheels

Hands down, my favorite part of the debate was when John Edwards was discussing Cheney's voting record and said, "He even voted against funding Meals on Wheels for seniors." Man, I hope that gets picked up as a sound byte. It was funny (great delivery) and it plays right into Cheney's image as an archetypal villain.


Victory

It's hard to believe that I'm more excited about Edwards winning the debate than the Red Sox winning game 1 of the ALDS. Let's hope this kind of thing doesn't shape opinion too much. Without question, John Edwards ate Cheney alive. I've never seen Ed "Giggly" Gillespie sweat more in my life. Oh, and I would like to say how unethical it is for people to be trying to falsely spin the debate results and polls, but I happen to have voted three or four times for Kerry in every debate poll I saw last week. Just doing my part to keep the truth in focus. Okay, I lie, I'm trying to give a miniscule push to a pathetic candidate who bungled the debate, has no political courage or scruples, and whose bumper sticker I sport as visibly as possible in the rear window of my husband's car.


Monday, October 04, 2004

Archbishop Desmond Tutu appeared on the Daily Show tonight. Need I say more? Isn't that strange enough? It turns out he has the most astonishing, radiant...giggle. He's a giggler. And he watches the Daily Show. In the movies, the villains have all the fun.

Backlash

I read a very encouraging article about how the stagnant state of popular music was actually a good thing. The author cited examples of periods dominated by truly insipid music (read: disco) that gave way to a backlash of great music (like early 1980's punk). Each time, the terrible state of mainstream music disgusted people so much that they started searching for something, anything different, thus creating a small window for alternative forms to creep in and take hold. He predicted that the over-produced, vapid, mind-numbing music scene was on the brink of giving way to a fabulous rennaissance any day.

I'm hoping this political era plays out something like that. Maybe all these terrible things happening in politics right now are a blessing in disguise, priming us for a backlash. Maybe increasing government powers, particularly executive ones, are going to incite people to forcefully defend their freedoms, instead of compromising and letting them slip slowly away, one by one. Maybe we will remember what it takes to be good citizens because of adversity. The moralizing, conformity and Communist-hunting of the fifties gave way to the socially liberal and politically active sixties. I know that the events of the last three years have made me sit up and start paying attention. I didn't even vote in the last election. Because I couldn't choose between the two candidates (please, don't tell anyone. My friends would lynch me). And now that person I was then, the one who thought that maybe Al Gore did claim to have invented the Internet, seems as alien to me as, well, the truth is to the Bush administration.

Or maybe I'm just a blind optimist who can't believe that things are really going to continue in this direction. That government surveillance is going to invade every aspect of our lives, that labor protections will disappear, that we will sell out all the resources of our world for quick profit, etc. Maybe I just need to believe that Americans will wake up one day and realize...that just because it's really scary and maybe smacks a little of conspiracy theory, doesn't mean it's not true that our government is lying to us all the time and acting mainly for the personal profit of a few.

I would really like to be right about this. History moves in cycles, right? But I have my doubts...that article I read predicting imminent backlash against silly pop music was written at least five years ago. I guess it goes without saying that I'm still waiting.